this morning
sunny day in november
chilly day
leaves speckled all
over back garden's grass
aware of the moment

came across a post on facebook with link to a quote from jung on happiness:

C.G. Jung Speaking: Interviews and Encounters. In 1960, Jung was interviewed by journalist Gordon Young, who asked, "What do you consider to be more or less basic factors making for happiness in the human mind?" Jung answered:

"1. Good physical and mental health.
2. Good personal and intimate relationships, such as those of marriage, the family, and friendships.
3. The faculty for perceiving beauty in art and nature.
4. Reasonable standards of living and satisfactory work.
5. A philosophic or religious point of view capable of coping successfully with the vicissitudes of life."

Jung also added, “All factors which are generally assumed to make for happiness can, under certain circumstances, produce the contrary. No matter how ideal your situation may be, it does not necessarily guarantee happiness.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

adrianna's face says it all!

memories

                      cicadas chitter
gentle breeze stirs the garden
                    hot in sun
               cool in  house

          on the south side
two huge sweet maples
        inhale sunlight and
           shade this home

memories of other july fourths
                   wander my head
especially of the one six years ago
                  of the day when mom
                sisters dolores and deb
and i were at the long pine reservoir
       deb had her sail boat and kayak
       i had my kayak

a rare event for all of us to be together
                 "doing the same thing"
dolores was, well, dolores, funny,
outrageous, especially when compared to her older and younger sisters

                           images, vignettes of the day
                                      mom in deb's kayak 
at  80, her zsa zsa hairdo had every hair in place.
 me in mine
deb and dolores working to get the 14' sailboat
                       off the trailer and into the water
                    dolores trying to understand deb's barked orders
                        of do this, do that....

we all laughed that day.
   together spent time
   shared moments, minutes and hours.

mom's been gone about 15 months now
                                    and dolores
well she left this world four years ago,
two days after her 56th birthday on july 12th
a shock, a suprise
she had worn her heart out.
     
quiet morning
 memories linger
 shadows of the past


















         



..

thoughts

i sit
here and there
i sit and knit
stitch and stitch
loop and loop
yarn twist and turns

and the fabric grows
line by line
slowly
for a person
for a baby
for one who is also in the state of forming
cell by cell
as
i do stitch by stitch

and as i sit and knit
third sweater now
line by line
for a child who will live
three hours away from me
a certain energy, a certain memory i knit into each loop
into each stich
into each line
fo a child i will not know as intimately know as her father
so,
a certain sadness
with each stich
with each line
with each sweater that i knit

and a hope
that there will be a memory of me
for her

laptops...viruses...worms...and....

day'sdone
second workday of this week
a tuesday
and in ways, more like a monday
tomorrow, the michigan trip begins
another adventure....

meanwhile, here
laptop is infected
not enough protection
went to see the computer doc
not a good prognosis
will be a wipeout and reload
need to buy  a new works and new publisher for the website

frustration when i tried to go on-line with this laptop
dryer needs to be replaced
timer doesn't work
decision to be made
repair or replace
repaired once
time to replace
sigh

so, another adventure
and will see what the universe will provide
and
i get to show jason and kelly the sweet baby things
                       i have found and bought

the garden stands...

the garden stands this morning
   gently, slightly shrouded
        in mist

 colors somewhat muted
 colors somewhat subdued

daffies have had their peakand the tulips

have begun to wane

garden stands this morning
                                watching
                                waiting
                                being

cherry blossom snow

morning's grey
   waits for rain
garden's green
   waits for rain
as
  cherry blossoms fall

pink cherry blossom snow

and news from son and his wife
just back from songram of munchkin-to-be

 a girl child
 healthy and strong
 guess there will be more
     pink in my life

april's morning dance

two cardinals race around and through
   the garden
a game of tag?  
               of chase?
                of "this is my space and leave?
two red blurs zip here
                       zip there

thunder this morning
 line of storms moves through
 scattering rain here and there

a check on the seeds, planted a week or so ago
lettuce sprouted, quite dense and wild
peas have, within a day or so, popped up
radishes and onions can also be seen

daffies and tulips watch over the young uns
off to dance this day

sweet day of memories

day's done
long day
more time spent cleaning and picking up the home
than cooking the food!

a bit more clutter than i was happy with
between working and traveling to shows, well, "stuff" accumulates
and sits until it moves
or, more likely, i move it

the weather- oh my!
i went around opening windows, pushing up the storm windows
dropping the screens
switched out the glass panels from the front and back doors

i guess what's odd is coming from a family of "women" is to have such a perponderence of males....
sister deb, her daughter tasha and granddaughter cameron and myself are "the women"
i look at the pic, feel like a queen/matriarch surrounded by her subjects
odd place to be...

the sweaters!

at the richmond show, i wandered into a Miachaels store, purchased the cotton yarns for sweaters....two shows, several tuesday night stich n bitches at panera and now, they are done!

simple sweaters

zen meditation time

      and then, today, while at joann fabrics, this flannel said: make me into something!
bright colors, wonderful fun shapes.....playtime!

week's end

the reason why dylan went home with ice cream in his ears and between his fingers. such intense concentration on the experience of ice cream.......

do we remember the simple pleasures?

and when have we been content to leave the ice cream on our face?

middle of this 13th week

april 1st
fool's day?
or maybe a day to spend in the garden......

lettuce
planted 10 or so days ago has popped out of the seed,
now shows tiny first leaves
such a sense of excitement at the apperance

13th week of this year
we seem to think in terms of months and
days, and only of weeks as composed of days
to consciously think of 13th week out of 52 weeks
a reformatting of the brain
a reassesment of goals and desires

my younger son, jason, and his kelly are expecting
due september 1
their lives, this year, have been reformatted to thinking in terms of weeks

as for me, well,
this event has had subtle implications.
i wander through baby departments,
restraining myself,
because not until april 13th, we will know the gender of this munchkin...
still, it has been "safe" to purchase yellow and blue small outfits
that were simply too sweet to not take home.

and, i am knitting again.
have knit, off and on over the years...
interesting process
slow process
even makes handweaving look speedy.
 as i have sat knitting, hands moving from loops from  one needle to the other 
i find my "monkey mind" still and in a state of almost zen
aware of the movement
 yet not thinking of anything else

this process of manipulating yarn has, for some unknown reason,
become
very easily understandable and logical
i have already completed one sweater for this new munchkin
took what was to be a knitted swatch into a simple designed sweater.
am three quarters through a second one

as i work the yarn, i wonder how long these gaments will be worn by this human who
is not quite in this world yet.....
i think of spring 41 years ago, when i was pregnant with my first son
a may baby
of the hopes, fears and wonder of new life stirring within

how many weeks since then
how many months
and now,
 i will be a grandmother
interesting thought
interesting "defintition" of myself

thoughts

grass grows ragged high
spiked wild onions
  scattered add
                 to the chaos
daffies dance
while tulips wait 
   not quite ready to
move onstage
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
last day of march
air a still a bit crisp
morning slides into day.....

don't try to shortchange a 14 month old....

my sister deb was off today, asked if i wanted to go shopping with her and her grandchildren,
cameron,5, and dylan, 14 months.
cameron needed easter shoes to go with her new easter dress.
i replied that later in the day would work
so, around 3, we headed to the mall, after a stop at the bank for me to make a deposit

both munchkins strapped in their respective carseats....
stroller in the way back of the subaru..
shoes and ice cream on the agenda

at the bank, cam asked if they had lollipops
i remarked they had doggie biscuits
cam looked at me and laughed
we left with lollipops and happy children

arrival at mall, stroller out, set up
dylan strapped in, lollipops swirling in both of their mouths
cam needed a restroom stop,
leaving me with dylan in the  stroller

i look at dylan, who has lollipop stick in his hand...
with no visible pop on it
hmmmm....
i remove sticky stick, find clerk and ask where is trash can....
deposit stick in can

deb and cam return....and i take one more look at dylan
realized i should check about the end of the lollipop
find the last bit of the pop still attached to the tiny end of the stick!
he was not happy as i fished that out of his mouth....

back to the restroom to wash his hands, face and fingers
off to find shoes and ice cream!
now the last time we visited the ice cream parlor, cam's ice cream scoop fell off the cone.
her scoop was put in a dish and we gave dylan the empty cone....
he was delighted....munched it...was happy
fast forward to last week and another ice cream jaunt. this time, dylan had his own tiny cone, complete with ice cream...
when we brought the kids home, tasha later asked how he got ice cream in his ears, between his fingers and cone in his diaper!
so, today, we planned on giving him the empty cone...

cam got her cone....and we hand dylan the empty cone....
he had this "what the *****" look on his face....
no use in trying to shortchange a 14 month old!

afternoon thoughts and a link from today's washington post

almost 3 in the afternoon
productive hours
swept and rearranged the back deck
my strawberries in their "window box" planters have weathered the winter
i placed them on a bench on the deck, all the better to keep them away from rabbits and that odd possum who seems to have a hiding place in the garden

planted lettuce and some of the peas
raked leaves off of the beds
image of bed hair being tamed by a comb played my head
such a sense of order after such a minor effort

of course, isn't a sense of order in the garden an illusion for humans
the fairies must be peeking through the bamboo, laughing at my sense of "control"

lunch was leftovers from the indian restaurant
reading material was this article from today's washington post's magazine
The Washing: In the Muslim custom of bathing the dead, she found a deep sense of reward -- and shaved off 40 sins.....

By Reshma Memon Yaqub
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/03/12/AR2010031202891.html

on this day of equinox, pensive thoughts.....
on this day of warmth and light, a wonder at the why of it all

sunday sunday

sunday again
late morning

yesterday, a treat, a challenge and a steep learning curve.
the pa.guild offered a workshop on blogging, taught by scoutie girl , tara gentile. wonderful workshop!
first was the mental reassement that websites are not the be all of marketing in the 21st century.
tara pointed out how websites are static interfaces, and how blogs are interactive-simple "duh" concept.

so......
pat beard, dear friend and fellow weaver, and i sat with others, listening, processing and learning.

life seems to move so much more quickly  now.
one seems to blink and it's another day, another week, another month, another season!

today's the spring equinox!
what happened to winter?
i have planted red and white onion sets,
have snow peas along with several varieties of lettuce to bed, hopefully, today.

            wild onions are looking ragged  high
and two daffies bloomed, early to this garden's dance

almost noon
i have been such a slug, still sitting, wrapped in red robe
brain cells running over yesterday's deluge of new information.

off to dance this day

friday again

dreams


are there

just at edge

      of

aware......



choice.....

do i sit, wait

or fall over

into a

     dali?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

friday.

next friday i will be in chantilly, prepping my booth for another day of show and sales

now i sit, looking out in to my garden, have already planted a half pound of red and a half pound of white onion sets.

bought some letttuce and peas toput in next.

some swiss chard and kale weathered the winter, much to my surprise.
the day waits

begin...being and a few more letters....

my sister and i spent a week on ocracoke this september....it was an adventure...time spent together, away from here, first time ever.

we took our kayaks, and art supplies. the house, sitting on the sound, had screened porch, two chairs, and a picnic table.

we sat in the chairs, looked at the water
looked at the pelicans sitting on the dock.
paddled the sound, walked the beach, found shells and found out more about each other.

i spread newspapers on the table, unpacked our art supplies- art camp!

deb hadn't painted for quite awhile. mom's care swallowed her up and when mom died, well, she was a bit like a fish out of water.

somerset magazine had an interesting article where the artist took 5 small 4" canvases, and painted one letter on each one, the letters b, e, g, i and n.
i had 5 canvases....and realized the word "begin" can also spell "being".

drawing the letters, forming the shapes opened up some ideas...
later, i was at a show, and while waiting in my booth, began to play with letter forms....
thought it would be fun to redo, redesign my logo...
and then, i thought about designing an alphabet.
this page was the first....
and my sister and i were both "being" and beginning.....

day after the ides of march

halfway through march
this garden grows green
among the sticks and rubble of
last year's growth,
new shoots, new leaflets, new sprouts
poke and prod upward

damp earth smell
air just a bit chill
edge of hope
edge of life

and i sit
watching through the window
wondering at
wondering at
the mystery of it all

one more morning at home

sitting, looking at the garden
ragged and torn after a hard winter
bamboo has begun to stand up again
grass has slight sheen of green

oddness, in the veggie garden area, the brussel sprouts look like they have survived the winter....still tiny ones, but there

snowdrops are
daffies and tulips begin to make their presence known

i feel as ragged and worn as
the garden looks.
a weekend away
second "real" show of this year
van's packed
bags need to be prepped
cupoftea cools

yellow brick road waits
yellow brick road waits

midweek again

morning
overcast and missing the sushine of the last several days
am grateful for warmer temps and no snow

had care conference at manor care for dad yesterday.
he has been there since march of 02.
so hard to understand.
there has been little change in his "condition".
he is, simply, is.

when i saw him, he was "awake". i told him i was there and then told him that jason and kelly were expecting a baby.i have no clue if this registered or not.

monday was

just posted on the jesamie blog, a documentation of the day....
here-a "self-check" in...
three mondays ago was on the edge of the bronchial infection, feeling so tired. was thinking today about the "process" of getting sick, being sick and getting better.
rest was a verb. went and saw doc to get meds. knew, with the show this week, i needed some "help".
last week, felt i ran at half speed.
today, earlier at the studio, cut jackets, prepped pieces for shipping
tomorrow...
well tomorrow is....

sunday is

sitting in my dining room, facing east, feeling the sun's warmth
have a pot of parsley and thyme and one of basil on the desk, behind the laptop
observing their leaves bent towards the window
hava always wondered about the leaves...
and how they manage with different levelsof light reaching them...

forecast is for warmer today
head's filled with must do's, especially with the trip on thrursday
less gunk in the head
a relief to get up and not have a coughing spell.
i'm doing, after the anitbiotics, an echinacea/goldeseal supplement
did not want to go with more antibiotics

i love the quiet in the house
listening to its "normal" sounds
almost like a heartbeat...

off to shower, fluff and dance the day

friday's all

long day done, again
week done.
morning spent cutting a plus size jacket, triple checking measurements, before cutting. improvising when the fabric was a bit of a challenge.
it worked!
the orders i wanted and neeed to get done this week are mostly done.
will work some over the weekend in the studio

afternoon spent in rep. shuster's office with staffer nancy...needed to sort through the why dad's one check has stopped coming. felt like i had fallen down alice's rabbit hole into bureaucractic chaos....
nancy hit her rolodex, spun it and tried a number of numbers...took awhile....but i think it's worked out. will know more on monday, when one from the VA will call me back.
dinner at the indian restaurant with terry, pennie and shannon
good food, good wine and good talk
nice way to end the day
to end the week

day ends with silver nails!

day ends after hot bath, preceded by a visit to my niece tasha's home.
sister deb was babysitting cameron, 5, and dylan,1.
deb said she was on the edge of "sick", spoke of symptoms similar to what i began with about 10 days ago. i brought over some mucinex, to loosen the gunk.

dylan was a wiggle worm as i walked in, sitting in his swing, swigging a bottle of apple juice.
he beamed as i came around the corner. we then played the sock game.
he pulls his sock off, hands it to me. i put it on his hand.
he giggles, takes it off, hands it back tome.
such a simple pleasure. such joy...

cameron wanders into the kitchen, opens a cabinet door, takes out a box of what turns out to be a box of nail polishes and remover. she goes to the dining room, proceeds, in a very adult manner, to take off her current coating of polish from her nails. suddenly, she asks me if she can paint my nails!?

sure, i replied. i hav always felt odd when my nails were anything but a natural color. i have my mother's hand-working hands. i sat and said: you can paint my thumbs this copper color one. she did and then asked if she could use silver on my other fingers.
how often does one receive a manicure from a meticulous five year old?

i left in awhile and now look at my fingertips, flashing odd colors as i type.

moments days years

time flows, happens, whether we pay attention or not
yesterday was the anniversary of my gaberielle's passing.
she had a good span of 14 years
and i so miss her sweet face and manner.

a year gone by
a year now, since mom passed, three or so weeks before gabe
a year of grieving, healing,processing and moving on
a year of growth and transitions

when i am at a show, on sunday, around noon, and we all begin to think of the day's end, knock down and load out, others mention how many hours are left. i convert the time to minutes- sounds like more time, but it goes faster.

a year
three hundred and sixty five days
not going to calculate the hours
will try to remember the moments

off to dance this day

march evening-full moon's later

long day almost done
laser printer driver's are finally reloaded on the studio's tower!
took 2 + hours to download the drivers from Brother's website with the dial up connection.
then, called Brother support....about 45 minutes of waiting for a human to talk to....sigh

the fellow was helpful. i learned a bit more about the device and found that the production file causes, for some unknown reason, a glitch in the process. have to do a manual paper feed on that file!?!?

at least it's up and working. won't have to haul the ink jet printer from home to studio.

home to understand more about this bloggin process. in many ways it can be more intricate and involved than i first thought. statements about self, philosophical statements....interesting thought processes.

images uploaded...more images to think about.

learning curve with images

march morning and sharp learning curve

new to this experience.
trying to understand the ins and outs of the layout/graphics/uploads/etc of blogging
day waits...studio time ahead.
orders to cut, ship
bills to pay and
divine inspiration is needed